Right to Life

Didn't know there was going to be an anti-war march here. How about that?

"Conservatives want live babies so they can grow up to be dead soldiers." -George Carlin.

Silver lining

The silly and embarrassing Congressional hatchet-job on ACORN might be worth it if we can do this.

The congressional legislation intended to defund ACORN, passed with broad bipartisan support, is written so broadly that it applies to "any organization" that has been charged with breaking federal or state election laws, lobbying disclosure laws, campaign finance laws or filing fraudulent paperwork with any federal or state agency. It also applies to any of the employees, contractors or other folks affiliated with a group charged with any of those things.

In other words, the bill could plausibly defund the entire military-industrial complex. Whoops.

In their haste to grandstand for news cameras, legislators had to write a particularly broad bill in order to get it done without an independent investigation. Glennzilla explains.

The irony of all of this is that the Congress is attempting to accomplish an unconstitutional act: singling out and punishing ACORN, which is clearly a "bill of attainder" that the Constitution explicitly prohibits -- i.e., an act aimed at punishing a single party without a trial. The only way to overcome that problem is by pretending that the de-funding of ACORN is really about a general policy judgment (that no corrupt organizations should receive federal funding). But the broader they make the law in order to avoid the Constitutional problem, the more it encompasses the large corrupt corporations that own the Congress (and whom they obviously don't want to de-fund). The narrower they make it in order to include only ACORN, the more blatantly unconstitutional it is.

Rep. Alan Grayson is compiling a list. Vroom vroom!

The Two Bums

The bum on the rod is hunted down
As the enemy of mankind;
The other is driven around to his club
And feted, wined and dined.

And they who curse the bum on the rods
As the essence of all that is bad
Will greet the other with a winning smile
And extend him the hand so glad.

The bum on the rods is a social flea
Who gets an occasional bite;
The bum on the plush is a social leech,
Blood-sucking day and night.

The bum on the rods is a load so light
That his weight we scarcely feel,
But it takes the labor of dozens of men
To furnish the other a meal.

As long as you sanction the bum on the plush,
The other will always be there,
But rid yourself of the bum on the plush
And the other will disappear.

Then make an intelligent, organized kick,
Get rid of the weights that crush;
Don't worry about the bum on the rods,
Get rid of the bum on the plush!

-George Millburn, The Hobo's Hornbook

It's good to be a corporation

Last week, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case of Citizens United v. FEC, which began life as a censorship case but has metastasized into a potential ruling which could grant corporations nearly unlimited access to the government in the form of campaign donations.

Justices Antonin Scalia, Anthony Kennedy, and Clarence Thomas are already on record wanting to overturn these cases. Justice Samuel Alito and Chief Justice John Roberts have been inclined to wait. The question today is whether we wait no more.

See also last week's podcast of This is Hell.

Needless to say, if this succeeds the final barrier to a complete, unabashed oligarchy will be broken. Though perhaps it's just a matter of time, anyway, as we've apparently already established that money = speech. So presumably, if you have more money, you have more speech, and I kinda thought eliminating those people with "more speech" was the point of democracy. Oh well.

Meanwhile, the Beckites are getting their jollies over an apparent sting operation on the community group ACORN, which has become the white whale* of the right. Congress is on the ball, though, voting to cut federal benefits to ACORN with the benefit only of evidence from a fratty right-wing filmmaker whose previous "expose" involved promising donations to Planned Parenthood only if the money was used to abort black fetuses.

Greenwald:

ACORN has received a grand total of $53 million in federal funds over the last 15 years -- an average of $3.5 million per year. Meanwhile, not millions, not billions, but trillions of dollars of public funds have been, in the last year alone, transferred to or otherwise used for the benefit of Wall Street. Billions of dollars in American taxpayer money vanished into thin air, eaten by private contractors in Iraq and Afghanistan, led by Halliburton subsidiary KBR. All of those corporate interests employ armies of lobbyists and bottomless donor activities that ensure they dominate our legislative and regulatory processes, and to be extra certain, the revolving door between industry and government is more prolific than ever, with key corporate officials constantly ending up occupying the government positions with the most influence over those industries.

That's some real brave corruption-fightin' right there. Obviously, ACORN's real mistake was not dumping 1.3 million PCB's into the Hudson River.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Let Freedom Ka-Ching
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Protests

*Color of whale may vary, if you know what I mean.

A teabag in every pot

Vastly underrated comic performance artist Glenn Beck sent his millions thousands of teabaggers Saturday to the nation's capital to protest...well, something or other. If you're curious about the choice of the date, Beck would like to see the country return to its post-9/11 willingness to bomb and torture Muslims and hand over their money to the wealthy without asking any questions. Uniting the Nation in shared hatred of a dastardly Enemy is pretty much in the clinical definition of fascism, but I said Beck was funny, not intelligent.

The theme of the meeting, or lack thereof, is summed up pretty well by this photo and its bizarre, abstract Pelosi sign. (And you thought lefty protesters couldn't say on message.) This is the third such Teabag Protest Day, and while the message I guess is supposed to be anti-Gummit, but the actual turnout seems to be an excuse for any and every conservative cause to come out and get its picture on the teevee.

Mostly they seem to be pissed off about losing the election. Alas, as this is not a parliamentary system, they can't have Congress call a new one. Though if they'd like to start that petition, I'll sign up. But I doubt it, parliamentary government is something Communist countries have. I gather this because they seem to be shaking and trembling over the notion that the Democrats might be faintly pursuing policy they campaigned on during the last election. Perhaps they overslept that day.

This, of course, only makes the Democrats' capitulation even more pathetic to contemplate. Give in to the right's every whine and folly, like removing end-of-life counseling from the healthcare bill because morons think it's a "death panel," and conservatives still wail and moan about the president being terribly, terribly divisive. These are spoiled children; they will have it all or go to their room and pout. There's nothing you can do to bargain with them. The Democrats will, though, because caving to the right is what Democrats do, even if no one is asking for it.

Ben Franklin

Letter to Robert Morris, 1783:

All Property, indeed, except the Savage's temporary Cabin, his Bow, his Matchcoat, and other little Acquisitions, absolutely necessary for his Subsistence, seems to me to be the Creature of public Convention. Hence the Public has the Right of Regulating Descents, and all other Conveyances of Property, and even of limiting the Quantity and the Uses of it. All the Property that is necessary to a Man, for the Conservation of the Individual and the Propagation of the Species, is his natural Right, which none can justly deprive him of: But all Property superfluous to such purposes is the Property of the Publick, who, by their Laws, have created it, and who may therefore by other Laws dispose of it, whenever the Welfare of the Publick shall demand such Disposition. He that does not like civil Society on these Terms, let him retire and live among Savages. He can have no right to the benefits of Society, who will not pay his Club towards the Support of it.

But....freedom!

A fairy tale mashup

You and I live in the same town. You're the biggest tycoon in the neighborhood, loved and feared by all. I live in a dinky shack on the wrong side of the tracks. But one day I happen upon a goose that lays golden eggs. I've struck it rich, but as it turns out the elves who make your widgets can only subsist on golden eggs. So instead of negotiating a fair price for my eggs, you decide to start stealing them. I can never catch you in the act, as it happens, because you have a magical cloak which makes you invisible.

Now everyone in the town knows it's you, because you make a big show of proudly giving me useless things I'll never need as supposed compensation for stealing my eggs, like a blender that turns rocks into boll weevils. And you've got the police and the judges in your back pocket, so there's no hope of going to the authorities. So one day after months and months of you stealing my golden eggs while I still live in poverty, I finally lose it. I take a machete, go to your house, and brutally hack up your spouse and children.

Of course, I've overreacted. Worse, my retaliation is worthless because I've punished innocent people who had nothing to do with you stealing my eggs.

On the other hand, you still stole my eggs.

QOTD

Doug Henwood, liveblogging Wednesday night's presidential address.

“I want to speak to seniors”: Medicare is pretty great, isn’t it? But we can’t let the rest of the population have it, because that would be Canadian or something.

This is the million-dollar question, isn't it? Why aren't all these old farts sputtering around town hall meetings screaming OMG GUMMIT TAKEOVER spending more energy complaining about te network of crate warehouses they are housed in as a result of being on Medicare.

(Full disclosure: As I'm legally blind I'm covered by Medicare. And it's quite useful, though I've never had any health problems to speak of. Perhaps this will be the in the Democrats' final compromise bill; all the uninsured can just put their eyes out.)

Money money money money!

But, but, but," the teabaggers whine "healthcare costs mooooooney!" Yes, all upon fall, there's no such thing as a free lunch. If we're going to decide that lacking cash is not a good reason to let people rot in the gutter, then someone's going to have to pay for it.

So.

What we've got here is a fundamental question of whether or not those people who are Not Me are actual human beings or a collection of ideas that we sometimes have to pay attention to because they seem to be existing in the same universe as I do.

Boo hoo, we can't paaaaaaaay for it!

The people who face financial and/or physical ruin from our delightful Free Market health insurance industry are already paying for it. It's not a matter of whether health care will be paid for, but who will be doing the paying. Cold cash ain't the only kind of capital.

But I am my own man! I pulled myself up by my own bootstraps! I wear bootstraps! Whatever pantywaist commie said you should love your neighbor as yourself obviously didn't believe in the American Dream. Freedom! Freedom means I can punch someone else's nose and laugh because they can't afford to pay for it!

Sane countries admit that they are nations of communities as well as individuals, and so every individual acknowledges hir responsibility to pay a little extra so individuals aren't destroyed by events out of their control. This is not a sane country. This is a country of cruel, savage individuals driven to sociopathic lengths to annihilate everyone save our own bloodline. I am surprised we manage to keep the polite veneer.

I am a little sad that I was not around to hear the teabaggers debate the introduction of socialized fire departments. "Forsooth," our hypothetical teabagger must have said, "we just don't have enough water to put out a house that can't afford a proper central heating system." It is to chuckle.

Are you being served?

Van Jones is a longtime activist for environmental and prison reform causes, and, up until yesterday, was brought in to be Obama's "green jobs" czar. The trouble with having activists near the White House, though, is that they often say true things which are Not Serious. Jones apparently signed in a petition in 2004 which may have had a loose connection to 9/11 Trooferism. Given Jones long history in activism, this seems like a marginal offense, and he has denied ever being a Troofer. Nonetheless, he's been purged, because liberals are disposable.

Soon after the election, the Administration began corralling the big liberal DC interest groups into a variety of organizations and communication networks through which they telegraphed their wishes -- into a virtual veal pen. The 8:45 am morning call co-hosted by the "liberal" Center for American Progress, Unity 09, and Common Purpose are just a few of the overt ways that the White House controls its left flank and maintains discipline.

My own experience with the Veal Pen came indirectly, when some of them had the temerity to launch a campaign against Blue Dogs. They were rebuked and humiliated in front of their peers as a lesson to them all at a Common Purpose meeting, which is run by lobbyist Erik Smith. White House communications director Ellen Moran attends. It isn't an arms-length relationship between these groups and the administration.

A few weeks ago, Rahm Emanuel showed up at a Common Purpose meeting and called these liberal groups "fucking stupid" for going after Blue Dogs on health care and ordered them not to do so any more. Since that time, to the best of my knowledge, none of them have.

Ah, I knew Rahm Emanuel would be delightful to have around. And to think, some people believed he might occasionally turn that hard-assedness on Republicans!

LMAO

School speech backlash builds

OK, I admit, I can see a situation where people might have been exercised if Bush had given a similar address. If he didn't; it seems like such a banal thing for the president to do that I can't imagine each of them hasn't done similar. And American party politics has a ridiculous my-team-versus-your-team streak where no one actually cares if what you're screaming about now matches what you were saying five years ago. So now Republicans think it's trendy and cool to be out on the street protestin' against the man and tyranny by the Gummit.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Fox News: The New Liberals
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

The key difference in any kind of equivalency formula, though, is that one can readily find the stupid emanating from the official channels of the Republican Party. Here's Florida Republican chairman Jim Greer.

As the father of four children, I am absolutely appalled that taxpayer dollars are being used to spread President Obama's socialist ideology. The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run health care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power

Greer may be a little confused because he doesn't mention where Obama's socialist ideology will put the means of production in the hands of workers. But no matter. Can you imagine any official Democrat issuing a statement about "President Bush's fascist ideology?" S/he wouldn't remain in the party much longer.

Once again, we have conservatives allegedly outraged that their chillens' is gonna be indoctrinated upon leaving the immediate supervision of an Approved Authority. Righties must be terribly afraid of being lousy parents, given how little faith they seem to have in their children resisting any and all ideas they might randomly encounter.

UPDATE: Found this great bit of business in the LGM comments. It's worth it to post the whole thing.

Here's part of my imaginary Obama speech to the little ones:

First, don’t pay attention in class. Daydream instead. The way this country is going, those dreams are the only things you’re ever going to have.

Second, don’t listen to your parents and teachers -- you should know why not by now. Geez, just look at ‘em.

They voted for George W. Bush twice! They think Sarah Palin is smart! They still believe Saddam Hussein destroyed the Twin Towers! They all refinanced into interest-only option ARMs 6 months before the real estate market crashed! They didn’t diversify their 401k’s!

Sorry, kids, those are grown-up concerns. Got off target there.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. When you’re old enough, quit school. Really, there’s no reason to stay beyond age 15 or 16 because you’ll be able to hook and to cook by then, and that’s pretty much all the skilz you’ll be needing in 21st- century America.

Just don’t come crying to me when your meth-rotted teeth fall out during some domestic dispute. I tried to get you some healthcare but your parents and your teachers… well, Christ, go ask them. They still think Marx, Lenin, and Stalin are hiding under their bunk beds.

Look, I only have a few minutes so I have to wrap this up fast.

First, evolution is real. Don’t go believing all that creationism crap.

Second, abstinence doesn’t work. Use a condom. Each… and… every… time.

Third, if the hooking and cooking don’t work out, try to marry a Canadian.

Remember, if your parents and teachers ask, we talked about studying hard and making the honor roll and Japanese crap like that.